Psalm 37:4: “Delight yourself in the LORD and HE will give you the desires of your heart.”
Funds were really low and we lived on the High Plains, out in the country in a little place called Ellicott, but jokingly referred to as West Kansas, for that described the topology. My husband situated us there yet worked in construction away from home, coming home an occasional weekend. A dear friend, my mentor actually, conned me into going up in her stead to serve as a counselor for middle schoolers at Camp Elim, promising to keep my two little ones for the week. I loved Camp Elim, the beautiful setting in the trees, having a cabin full of girls, and sharing with them JESUS in fun devotions. The Christian acceptance and fellowship was beyond anything I had ever known. Besides this they had a pool, whereas Ellicott was dusty and dry. It was such fun, that though in my late 30s, I felt like a kid again.
So after that summer, I volunteered for all summer and even winter weekend camps in various capacities from counselor to dining room hostess. My children could come with me as staff family and we had a summer-long vacation with no monetary output, and it was good for me and the children.
One weekend, my husband came home from Idaho and demanded that I stop working at Camp Elim. He gave no reason and was heading right back out to Idaho, so his demands seemed unreasonable! I was furious. GOD had previously warned me that if I left Mac I would be a put on a shelf and not able to serve HIM. So I didn’t leave and now Mac was blocking me from serving GOD. Angry (which is not my usual mode), I told GOD, “YOU said if I didn’t stay, I wouldn’t be serving YOU, but I am here and Mac is blocking me from serving YOU, so I am out of here.”
I was ready to go my own way; ready to turn my back on what I knew GOD wanted me to do. Why? Because I focused on what I thought would be good instead of what GOD said. I was wise in my own eyes, leaning on my own understanding and not trusting the LORD knew best (Proverbs 3:5-7).
My vision was clouded with selfish thoughts and desires, I was in the dark and didn’t even know it (Matthew 6:23). I suppressed the truth I did know, so I could do what I thought was better for me (Romans 1:18). And my vision was blurry. I really thought I was right.
But in HIS great mercy and love, GOD gave me another chance by all of a sudden showing me time after time after time when HE had forgiven me. No longer was I mad, nor did Mac’s actions seem so unbearable. Humbled, I told GOD, “Yes, LORD, I will stay.”
By seeing GOD forgiveness of me, I was enabled to forgive. The word is so true that when we really see something true about GOD, we are changed into that likeness (2 Corinthians 3:18/ I John 3:2).
What we focus on is so important. GOD says, what happens to us is achieving for us and therefore we are not to look at our situation, which is temporary, but on what GOD is achieving for us through our situation, for it is eternal (2 Corinthians 4:15-18).
Once I agreed, Mac changed his tune and said there was no problem with me going to camp. He never knew the struggle I went through. But I know it was GOD who gave me favor with Mac and changed his mind. By choosing GOD’s way, HE opened the door for me.
Looking unto JESUS, the Author and Finisher of my faith,